Previously I wrote about the concepts of Masculine and Feminine - The Polarized Self, not referring to men and women but rather the two polar opposite “essences” that each of us have. It’s even more subtle than that because we are complex creatures with multiple aspects, each of which feel comfortable as more masculine or more feminine. Other than a body, you also have:


  • If your mind is more structured, hierarchical, analytical, ordered, you find it easy to maintain a grid of space and time, your mind is more masculine.
  • If your mind is more free flowing, one idea generating another idea in an endless creative flow unbounded by structure, your mind is more feminine.


  • Emotionally masculine people find it harder to be “in touch with” their emotions. They know if they feel approximately good or bad, but maybe not much more than that.
  • Emotionally feminine people are absorbed in a rich tapestry of emotional fluctuations, layer upon layer of feelings endlessly unfolding, interacting, blooming and dissolving, and enjoy talking about them in great depth.


  • If your movement is more rigid, more linear, more still, then energy flows through you in a more masculine away.
  • If you love dancing, flowing, constantly moving and never the same way twice then energy moves through you in a more feminine way.


  • In sex, the masculine partner is responsible for navigating, for taking charge, and setting the direction to take both people as deep as possible.
  • The feminine partner is responsible for the energy, filling the moment with a richness and fullness of experience, melting into love. If the masculine is the river bank, the feminine is the river itself.


  • At the ultimate level of spiritual awakening the masculine is consciousness itself. Pure awareness, pure emptiness. Masculine bliss is sitting still, aware of everything, nothing to do, no responsibilities, utter freedom.
  • The feminine is life itself. Fullness, dynamic change, love, light, energy. It is body, mind and form. It is the content of which consciousness is aware. Feminine bliss is constant change, always something new to feel and love.

The masculine experience is one of penetrating awareness, and the feminine experience is one of receptive blooming.

These concepts are hard to put into words and are best felt experientially. Still, reading through you probably find yourself identifying more with one than the other in each category. This is like your masculine-feminine blueprint. And in an intimate relationship you’re most likely to be attracted to your reciprocal.